Trigger warnings: discussion of abusive parent, mental illness, violence, and suicidal ideation. Please proceed with caution if you are easily triggered by any of the above.
I’m not used to asking for anyone’s help, and I’m afraid I may not be much good at it, so I apologize in advance if this comes out a little awkward.
Our names are Nathan and Lucy. Nathan is a mixed-race trans man of color, and I’m a white trans woman. We’re both pretty far from neurotypical. He lives with BPD (among other things), and I fall somewhere on the bipolar spectrum. We both have pretty savage cases of gender dysphoria, and we need to transition, but we can’t because of our living arrangements. We’ve lived together for almost nine years, now, and I don’t know how much longer we can stand this, to be honest… and that’s why we’re finally breaking down and asking for people’s help.
We live with Nathan’s father, although not in the same household. He is an extremely wealthy, white landowner and businessman with several plots of commercial real estate in town, a profitable small business, a several-hundred-acre country estate, numerous classic cars, boats, tractors, guns, etc. He spends thousands of dollars on a whim to buy old, broken vehicles that he never gets around to fixing.
He’s also extremely racist, homophobic, transphobic, misogynistic, hates the poor, does not believe in mental illness, and is an aggressively militant right-wing conservative Southern Baptist. In the past, he has told Nathan gay people “shouldn’t have rights at all,” forced him to go to church to attempt to “fix” depression and suicidal ideation, and has made allusions to physically assaulting people of color many times. He has always denied Nathan monetary help… refusing, even, to pay Nathan’s (single, WoC) mother more than 25 dollars a week in child support, complaining constantly about being poor despite his obvious wealth. He has, many times in the past, pointed loaded guns at people who anger him.
In addition to being miserly and a bigot, he is verbally and emotionally manipulative/abusive toward Nathan. We have lived in a tiny FEMA trailer (pictured) on this man’s land for almost 4 years, now, and pay him rent. While we’re here, we can never transition because we would, at best, be thrown out and rendered homeless as soon as he figured out what was going on… given his past behavior, however, we fear he may physically harm one or both of us if we came out in any capacity.
I’m lucky enough to have a half-decent job, and I think we could - kind of - manage the cost of moving and transitioning on our own… or at least, we could have. We had been saving to try to move out of here for months and months, and eventually that effort fell apart because the Federal Government garnished my paychecks for my student loans. I don’t owe a lot, relatively speaking. I went to college for one year and dropped out, and owe a little less than $4000 on it, still. My parents had promised to pick up that cost before I went, and then backed out of that commitment after the fact, so now I’m stuck with the bill.
The government garnishes my wages to the tune of about 12.5% of my gross income, so I basically have NO disposable income and no way to save money. We can barely afford to eat, now! We may be able to have the garnishment removed, but we have no way of knowing how long that will take, and having to pay that in addition to bills has put us even further in the red than when we started.
We’re asking for money to help us move somewhere away from Nathan’s father and/or repay the student loan keeping us from doing so ourselves. This fund is NOT asking for help with the actual costs of transitioning - just the costs of physically moving away from an abusive and dangerous man so that we can live our own lives. In order to be able to pay rent ANYwhere, I have to pay off my student loan or at least get the garnishment removed. So we’re basically asking for enough to get rid of that so that I can pay rent somewhere, plus enough to find a place somewhere else where we can live without Mr. Deep South harassing Nathan all the time.
Thank you, everyone, for any help you provide, or for spreading the word if you can’t donate. We both appreciate it very much!